Billy Hunter’s ESPN: the Body Issue Cover

Billy Hunter now gets cover of ESPN: the Body Issue. And the NBA Lockout steamrolls on…

Unlike the NBA, CFAAP on is back on Cavs: the Blog, baby!

And – I think to prove a point? – I’ve decided to do my part in ending the lockout by posting a union and/or league executive on the cover of an ESPN: the Body Issue every week until this unseemliness is resolved. Because no executive wants to be caught with his pants down. Or completely naked.


So, if you're keeping score, we now have:

David Stern.
Billy Hunter.

And this is just beginning.

Freud would say I have a problem with authority. I’m more hoping I just want to see some basketball.

Now, for the Cavs: the Bloggers:

Just to see if we can’t begin a little debate here to keep ourselves entertained…let me start throwing some hypotheticals at you. (Along with drawings of naked old men, hypotheticals are my specialty.)

HYPOTHETICAL ONE:

Assuming the Cavs team stays as presently constructed, and knowing what you know now… what would you rather come out of the 2012 NBA Draft with?

A) Any one of Anthony Davis, Andre Drummond, or Harrison Barnes.

or

B) Any two of Michael Gilchrist, Quincy Miller, Perry Jones, Bradley Beal, Austin Rivers, James McAdoo or Jared Sullinger.

I’ll share my answer a bit later in the day.

(Actually, screw that, let's do it now...

I'm "A" all the way.

Two reasons. The first is that the top three guys represent the safest NBA picks in that Davis and Drummond should at worst find a way to contribute something defensively (they're both uniquely talented in that regard), while Harrison Barnes is as close to a sure-thing as there is in the draft.

The second reason is in my mind even more convincing. The Cavs (as do all teams) need one "great" far more than they need two "goods." As deep as this draft is, I don't see anyone from that second group becoming elite elite (with the possible exception of Quincy Miller, who I still view as a long shot star, and Brad Beal, who I don't know particularly well yet). They're all really good, but they're Iguodala good. At best, they're Rudy Gay good. There isn't a LBJ/Durant among that group. Each has a substantial liability that's already evident.

Davis and Drummond, they're the only two guys in the draft with "top of the NBA" potential. Harrison Barnes I love as well -- and again, he's the safest bet to fulfill his promise of anyone -- and is just a tier below them ceiling-wise.

And so ends hypothetical one.)

(Ps- If you're coming from CTB, I hope you answered before you read that.)

By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

Funny Plates: Itty Bitty Titty Committee Gets Serious!

The Itty Bitty Titty Committee gets serious in "Funny Plate" number nine...which comes just an hour after "Funny Plate" number eight because A) I'd missed a week, and B) it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I wanted to be as proactive as possible.

Even if they're itty bitty, get them checked 'cause they're really pretty. (I worry that as soon as I turn 30, I'm going to lose the ability to talk about breasts without sounding creepy.)

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingOfPlates.com.

Funny Plates: Money Laundering

"Funny Plate" eight is a homage to Money Laundering.

I'm 99% certain this is how you do it.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingOfPlates.com.

David Stern’s ESPN: The Body Issue Cover

David Stern gets the cover of ESPN’s Body Issue because of the NBA Lockout.

Congratulations! If you’re coming from Cavs: the Blog, chances are you like my favorite team and are just, in general, a learned person.

Here is Drawings from the Notebook of Chris Grant (episode 18) in all its potentially NSFW glory:


What do we need the players for?

I think Stern looks fine.

By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

Funny Plates: Jewno MacGuff

It's our seventh "Funny Plate," celebrating the sassiness of Jewno MacGuff. She's a lot like Juno MacGuff, except her Michael Cera is a doctor.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

Occupy Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

We better Occupy Wall Street, because if “Money Never Sleeps,” it’s probably making some unreasonable decisions.

At current, I am not sitting out on the street with a sign, nor am I boycotting Wall Street products – which are what, again? – so I’m kind of a weenie for jumping on the bandwagon.

But that said, all bandwagons need weenies, and I like this particular bandwagon.

I hope that Occupy Wall Street becomes the great political movement of my lifetime. I realize it’s not nearly there yet (more people need to get on the street! Lazy motherf*ckers…), but it’s already exceeded my expectations—let’s keep driving in the direction we’re going.

Now, clarification time:

Do I want Wall Street overrun with dissenters? Of course not. I don’t think anybody wants that, except for maybe this guy:

Hey, a man’s gotta eat...

With complete sincerity though, I think that these people are on to something. At least in sentiment.

The Tea Party – whose 2009 emergence is the one most immediately used in drawing OWS parallels – was/is angry at the state of the country (parallel), and tried to/is trying to strike back at the perceived regulatory bodies they felt/feel responsible (perpendicular).

The Tea Party’s biggest problem? (Besides issues of gay rights and religion creeping into their agenda and soiling what was originally a semi-earnest brand…)

I think they’re angry at the wrong people.

Occupy Wall Street, at its most focused, I believe is more in tune with the country’s issues.

The income divide – by definition, really – is the greatest threat to mass “American exceptionalism” since, let's say, the eighties. The reason our economy is faltering seems to be, to borrow a percentage from the OWS movement, that 99% of us don’t have any money to spend on anyone else’s products. Thus, the multi-nationals grow (because they can sell to a wider base), while everything local continues to fade (thus, exacerbating the problem).

So how do you fix that?

Tailoring the tax code (or even less drastically, tailoring the regulatory bodies that watch over multi-national businesses) to favor/aid the lower-tied consumers has been accused of being socialistic (which in my view isn’t the worst thing in the world) and wealth redistributive.

It is.

But should we really be fighting that?

Consider this: With the income divide as severe as it currently is, isn't not layering the economic system in such a way also wealth redistribution?

Isn't it redistributive even more so?

If everybody keeps 80% of their annual pay, but executive compensation continues to soar while the compensation of the middle and lower classes continues to stagnate...won't the income divide just continue to grow with each passing year?

So, I think then very practically, a (the?) solution to stimulating the economy is quite likely the alternative not acting...which would be to more radically tier the tax code/corporate regulations to favor the consumer, and to favor those suffering the stagnation.

We shift money from the very wealthy to the government, and then from the government to the very poor/middle-class. In theory then, the poor would immediately spend the money (they have no other recourse – if you had to choose between buying dinner or opening an offshore investment account, you settle on dinner…) on local businesses, thus increasing the quality of life for the poor and middle-class (the latter of which hopefully still own the local businesses), while bolstering the economy around them. It’s “trickle up,” economics, and it seems to me that with TUE there’s far less to go wrong than there is with the TDE.

And while I think that Occupy Wall Street’s centrifugal message (or at least what I hope it to eventually be) is “Get Money Out of Politics,” and not TUE... I actually believe that getting money out of politics will represent the most significant step possible toward the enacting of my latter economic musings.

You’d have a hard time convincing me that what I wrote above doesn’t make sense, and for that reason, I’ve got to think the only reason it hasn’t happened yet is the lack of cause-associated political capital. Political capital costs money, and the money would rather see opposite agendas go down. If we're able to take money out of the equation, the most obvious fix becomes more likely to step to the forefront. (Truth be told, even if we ended up with more conservative action post-the years of ridiculously hefty clandestine political investment, I’d feel better knowing that the policies enacted were at least enacted with the purest of intentions.)

And there you have it. Occupy Wall Street through the eyes of a layman.

It’s a step in the right direction, and I hope it continues to build.

Take it from me – I’m an English major.

By Ryan, for the Center for American Progress Illustrated. (Guilty little secret: It’s just a link to this site.)

Funny Plates: Hitch Cock

It's a Hitch cock (Hitchcock?) for today's "Funny Plates" entry...and I'm a little worried this is sacrilege. At the very least, it's kind of scary. Guess that's appropriate.

He's a grower.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

Herman Cain vs Prominent Muslims Series: Herman Cain vs Muhammad Ali

Herman Cain fights prominent Muslim Muhammad Ali in part one of our new series!

Today, I’m releasing the first of a series of works entitled, “The Herman Cain vs. Prominent Muslims series.” Essentially, it’s pictures of Herman Cain vs. prominent Muslims.


Our good friend Herman has been campaigning on a series of potentially panderous issues, perhaps the most notable of those being a healthy skepticism of Muslims in general.

Yeesh. (That’s Muslim for, “in poor taste.”)

Now, do I think Herman Cain actually believes that all Muslims are trying to kill us, with “us” presumably meaning all American, non-Muslim people?

No. I think he’s a reasonably smart guy with a work ethic to be admired (the man’s done a lot in his life) and has simply caught wind of how to play the game (that being, find out the issues most fervently installed in your potential base and proceed to hammer them into the ground with no regard for nuance and/or the ground—because, of the ground, hammer it hard enough and natural gas comes out!). He’s pandering, and because he has no real record in government, he’s kind of free to pander unchecked. There’s little to call him on, save for the occasional factually inaccuracy.

Anyway, I hope these pictures are silly, irreverent and enjoyable. I hope Herman Cain sees them, likes them, and maybe decides to throw in a qualifier or two when talking about religion. I’m not even religious, I just like qualifiers.

A few more thoughts in closing:

- There will be more HCVPM pictures upcoming.

- I think Herman Cain is adorable. I mean, the name “Herman” is adorable in and of itself, but on top of that he’s old, round, and has a history of making pizza. If Toys-R-Us sold a Herman Cain teddy bear, I would have it in my room.

- Despite winning the Florida straw poll last weekend, Herman Cain is polling nationally at just 5% (though depending on voter turnout, that may be enough to win).

- In Herman’s defense, I’m 99% sure the guy at my local 7-11 is a terrorist. His hot dogs are killing me. Ba da ksh! Okay, now I’m leaving.

Ah, no I'm not! One more note/addendum—Found this on abcnews.com:

Republican Herman Cain is apologizing to Muslim leaders for vitriolic remarks he made about Islam while campaigning for the presidential nomination.

The former Godfather's Pizza CEO has said communities have a right to ban Islamic mosques because Muslims are trying to inject sharia law into the U.S. He's also said he would not want a Muslim bent on killing Americans in his administration.

On Wednesday, Cain met with four Muslim leaders in Sterling, Va. He said in a statement later he was "truly sorry" for comments that may have "betrayed" his commitment to the Constitution and the religious freedom it guarantees.

He also acknowledged that Muslims, "like all Americans," have the right to practice freely their faith and that most Muslim Americans are peaceful and patriotic.

Okay, two(ish) more things:

1. Go Herman. That’s big of you.

2. There’s a really funny sentence in that blurb above. “[Cain's] also said he would not want a Muslim bent on killing Americans in his administration.” Bold stance.

3. Let’s end on a positive. Go Herman.

By Ryan + Aron, for CenterforAmericanProgressIllustrated.com. (Which, currently, is just a part of this site...but hey, click on the link anyway!)

David Stern's Hard Cap: An NBA Lockout Joint

On David Stern, the hard cap, and the NBA Lockout...from Cavs: the Blog.

As you may or may not know, I have a loose deadline of every Sunday morning for these Cavs cartoons. This week, I may or may not have hit it. What happened was John and I were working on our new CBA and couldn’t come to terms until this morning. I now get 100% of Cavs: the Blog’s advertising revenue.


On David Stern and the NBA lockout:

This is getting serious.

Words like “monumental” and “deadline” are being thrown around, and that usually means that there’s some sort of monumental deadline on the horizon.

What’s the deadline for?

From what I gather, it seems the company line from Stern and the owners is now that this weekend’s scheduled meetings will mark the last attempt to start the season on time. Meaning that if we don’t have a deal (or substantial progress) by Monday, a 50 game season probably becomes our best option. There would be “a lot of risk” to not getting something done by the end of the week was Stern’s direct quote (via Brian Mahoney). That and, “there are enormous consequences at play here on the basis of the weekend.” You could call it a bluff, but in truth, it’s likely not. The first games are supposed to start in a month.

If you’re rooting for a season, the worst thing that could happen would be the sides emerging from this weekend without making any headway.

Because at that point the conversation will turn from saving the start of the season, to saving the season at all.

………………….

Thanks for reading guys! (As per usual, the above picture was done by the biggest Cavs fan at CFAAP.com and colored by AJS…and the same goes for the one below, which came as a result of my playing around with the first pic and might even have turned out better.)


I think Stern should walk into the meetings this weekend and just slide that across the table. Provided Gilbert Arenas isn’t there, that’s what I think he should do.

And…want one for the Road?

Here’s an interesting Kyrie-tidbit published Saturday from new Cavs beat writer Tom Reed:

Irving has played just 11 games since last October in part due to a right foot injury — which doctors tell him won’t completely heal for another three months.

And, while he feels “150 percent” and is training with no restrictions, the NBA’s top overall pick in June is a player without a game. The league lockout has him parked at Duke, taking four courses this semester and working out twice a day.

Silver lining of the lockout right there. It sounds like Kyrie’s done a good job of letting his foot heal completely by taking a few months off post-draft (at the Cavs request), and I kind of don’t mind that he’s not yet dealing with the pressure to overdue it early on an injury that may be better off with more rest.

If the league’s first game is in January, I’m not sure that anyone benefits more than KI.

By Ryan + Aron, of CFAAP.com fame.

Funny Plates: World's Illest Rapper

It's the world's illest rapper this week in "Funny Plates." He spits hot fire, which is a euphemism for "frequently vomits."


By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

NBA Lockout: Strip Clubs Going Under...

The strip clubs are going under due to the NBA Lockout.

The following from Cavs: the Blog:

Happy Sunday everyone! (And go Browns, should you be so inclined.)

We’re back with the latest entry of Drawings from the Notebook of Chris Grant, and sadly, today marks our third pictorial foray into the NBA lockout ripple effect. (For those keeping track, here are the first two: Barren NBA Website & the lonely NBA ball.)


Can we put an end to this already? Kyrie needs practice and the Cavs have to get their money’s worth for the one season Jonas Valanciunas is ineligible.

Is 50 games now the most likely scenario here? Even amidst the apparent reality that the NBA would be submarining itself during the upswing of a resurgence?

I honestly have no idea, but Brian Windhorst is tweeting pessimistically.

Not good for two reasons.

One—He’s usually right, and two—My birthday’s next week and the hottest place still open is Friendly’s.

………………..

(Picture by CFAAP.com, and/or Ryan + Aron.)

(Also, one more note: Having never actually been to a strip club—I talk a big game, but worry the site of a woman naked in real life might make my heart explode—I looked all over the internet for an adequate reference picture from which to draw. And the only one I found was this drawing by Mark Anderson, which I pretty shamelessly copied. So shout out to Mark Anderson—a man who knows his way around the exterior of a strip club. Thank you in advance for not suing me.)

Funny Plates: Paraplegic Pick Up Lines

Funny Plate No. 5: The blog's first paraplegic joke!

Heard this in a bar the other night...


It didn't work, but I'm pretty sure the guy's delivery was off. The material is strong.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

The Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act: Michele Bachmann scores a win for America…

Michele Bachmann’s Mammothly Important Light Bulb Act, by Ryan Braun

The following is a commemorative piece re: Michele Bachmann’s greatest congressional accomplishment to date—the could not be enacted soon enough, “Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act.”


In case you’ve forgotten, this was the act that hastily ended the government's 2007 mandate that incandescent bulbs be phased out.

Freedom!

Here's Bachmann, from TheHill.com:

"In 2007, Congress overstepped its bounds by mandating that only 'energy efficient' light bulbs may be sold after January 1, 2012. … Government has no business telling an individual what kind of light bulb to buy."


In truth, while I know Bachmann’s taken some ridicule for this…the LBFOCA is pretty clearly in accordance with the constitution, which is of note because the constitution is probably the only document from the 1700s that had the foresight to preemptively deal with electricity. Not to mention, when Benjamin Franklin invented the light bulb, what shape was it? It was round, right? I think...I’m actually not positive it was round, but it sure as heck wasn’t twirly like a pig’s tail. What kind of message is that supposed to send to our children that we illuminate our houses with something that looks like a pig’s tail? They’ll think that we’re calling them fat, and even though there’s a statistical probability that they are, where in the constitution does it say that we should bring it to their attention? Hell, the Greeks placed a value on fat. They placed a value on fat the way we place a value on wealth. You tell me which is healthier.

So, with that in mind, you go Michele Bachmann. (Here's another picture of her in case you don't remember the first two.)

Keep fighting.

Keep leading.

Follow that light.

Conscience-induced Addendum:

Because I never want to be mindlessly partisan and would love it if this ended up being more of a centrist blog than a liberal one, I will admit the following:

From everything I can gather, the LBFOCA isn’t quite the "worst repeal of recent regulation" I'm making it out to be. The energy efficient bulbs still have a ways to go before they’re actually on par with their incandescent counterparts at “light bulbing,” and there’s been a rather alarming mercury concern raised with a few of the new bulbs as well. So on the innocuous meter, Bachmann’s bill is probably an 8/10. Depending on your mercury tolerance, it may even be beneficial.

Thus, in fairness to Bachmann, I’ll say this: If she’s to be scorned for anything, it has to be for her intellect/her treatment of gay people.

In fact, were I making a list of issues I have with Michele as a presidential candidate, it would read:

1. Poor treatment of gays.
2. Intellect.
3. Light bulbs.

Other than that, I have no qualms.

(Editor’s note: If you only read this blog for the sports cartoons, just click CFAAP on one of the sports cartoon’s tags. It will eliminate all non-sports fare. I recommended not doing that, however, because I like the political cartoons and you'd also be missing the "Funny Plates (which are perhaps my greatest artistic accomplishment)," but you have the option. Constitutionally, you have it. Regardless, I promise I’ll think up an easier way to navigate the site soon.)

(Editor’s note 2: Picture by Ryan + Aron, for CenterforAmericanProgressIllustrated.)

Luke Harangody: Harangody on cover of XXL...

Luke Harangody on XXL, from Cavs: the Blog:

The following contains both a tribute to and a musing on Cavs PF Luke Harangody.

Here is the tribute: An illegally procured copy of XXL’s new LH cover.

Initially, I’d planned to make cover art for a fictitious Harangody rap album (tentatively titled, “SPF-44”), and I wrote the following faux-review excerpts to paste on the cover:

-“Incomprehensibly white.”

-“I bought this in a grocery store parking lot.”

-“Better than Ron Artest’s album.”

I couldn’t fit them all in and so I went with the magazine.

Okay, now for the musing.

I read and loved Kevin’s excellent series on Cavalier “Diamonds in the Rough,” and if I valued having an honest relationship with myself, I’d probably go ahead and admit that I think he’s right in his assertion of Luke Harangody (In case you don’t remember, it’s: At best, a “starter for a second place team in the German League.” Which is harsh, but fair. The German League places a premium on undersized, un-athletic 4’s.).

But since I traditionally lie to myself to suit the needs of any individual moment, here’s one potentially more optimistic stance/comparison that I think is somewhat grounded in reality.

Luke Harangody is Brian Cardinal; he’s just too young for us to see it yet.

My theory?

Cardinal, the funnily shaped, self-deprecatory, 34-year-old 10^th man had so little “legacy” invested in a Finals win that it ultimately enabled him to perform with surprising effectiveness if only because he was one of the only guys on the court unaffected by the magnitude of the moment. He didn’t win the Finals (he played 30 total minutes), but he helped.

Is it possible that all Harangody is missing by way of comparison is the self-awareness that comes with being a bit-player for 11 NBA seasons?

In my mind, the number one most incriminating Harangody statistic is his current 38.4% shooting percentage. Not good for an interior player.

Brian Cardinal’s career shooting percentage? 41.3% (and he’s 6-8 too).

The key note to take away is that while 40% shooting from a power forward is bad, it doesn’t hurt as much when he’s only taking three shots a game.

With his unique combination of toughness and self-awareness, Brian Cardinal has quite probably now affirmed his status as the best 10^th man in basketball.

I believe it’s possible that we’ve found someone similar, we just need to let him age. (And also, maybe send him to the Groundlings. Brian Cardinal is funny.)

…………………

Thanks for reading everyone!

(Picture by CFAAP.com and colors by AJS.)

(Also see, related picture: “Black Luke Harangody.”)

(One last note: I realize I’m posting this at 12:00 AM on the 10^th anniversary of September 11^th, and though I am probably in no position to substantively comment on it, nor is this the place to substantively comment on it…consider this my best wishes to any and everyone who may have been affected, however they were affected. May the world keep getting better.)

By Ryan + Aron.

Funny Plates: Anal Sex

This is the first time in my life I've disposed of a plate via anal sex. Or at least the first time that I'm psychologically capable of acknowledging it.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

Republican Bumper Stickers: Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann, and more!!!

With the following (the titlely-referenced "Republican Bumper Stickers"), I hope not to alienate half of my Lilliputian audience*...but realize I'm probably going to.

Screw it though, we’re going political. (Coincidentally, that's a quote from God to Michele Bachmann.)

Below are our first five stickers, commemorating and/or otherwise recognizing the campaigns of—in order—Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, and Jon Huntsman (my personal favorite Mormon).

Cut them out and stick them to your car and stuff.

Godspeed, men/Bach-men,

Ryan M.** Braun (associate editor of online content at CenterforAmericanProgressIllustrated.com)

(Possibly unnecessary endnote: For those right-leaning and dissatisfied with this post, I’ll try to be fair in my upcoming political characterizations/willing to poke fun at all parties deserving of poking. Or at least go 70/30. Also, know this: While I think Obama deserves another go-round, I honestly wouldn’t be upset if Jon Huntsman (albeit only Huntsman) won. And while there’s a better chance that George W. is asked back for a third term, I hope this portrays me as a relatively tolerant and open-minded liberal. Either that or a Mormon.)

(Definitely unnecessary endnote: I'm not 100% sure on this, but I think their Mormonism would allow both Huntsman and Romney to occupy the White House in the event of a tie. Okay, now I'm leaving.)

Goodnight.

........................

*This blog gets about 30,000 readers a day, but they’re all tiny.

**The “M” is not for Mormon.

By Ryan, Nico, + Aron, for CenterforAmericanProgressIllustrated.com. (For the time being, CFAPI has merged with its sister site, CenterforAmericanAthleticProgress.com.)

Funny Plates: Bappin

Funny Plate #3, in honor of my new favorite word: Bappin.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingofPlates.com.

Ben Roethlisberger and Ashley Harlan: Roethlisberger Honeymoon Album

Ben Roethlisberger and Ashley Harlan got married and then went on a honeymoon.

This is my approximation of the resulting album…

It's Nice. It's quaint.

Okay, so apparently it behooves SEO (which is how daddy gets his moneys) that I post most pictures with some form of written accompaniment...thus, from here on out prepare to get your read on.

Part One:

Today's subject is Ben Roethlisberger; a (very) good quarterback/born-again pretty decent-seeming guy who I feel just a little bit guilty for making fun of (my morals are killer).

Thus, I feel like I should belatedly preface today’s entry with the following:

I have nothing against Ben Roethlisberger, save for the rape.

Part Two:

I think it would behoove me, and perhaps be more fair to Ben (again, killer morals), to delve a little bit further into my own psychology.

I’m not particularly versed in the art of seducing women.

In fact, if Wilt Chamberlain’s memoir were called “20,000,” mine would be called “One, via technicality.”

It’s possible I’m jealous of anyone who’s consistently having sex.

Just wanted to throw that out there for fairness sake.

That, and I’m a Browns fan.

Roethlisberger really has no chance on this blog.

By Ryan + Nico, and currently exclusive to CFAAP.com. (That said, I’m taking offers.)

Dan Gilbert and LeBron James: Moving on...

Dan Gilbert moves on from LeBron James...

By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

Luke Harangody dunks the ball in Space!

Luke Harangody can dunk a basketball in space.

Nice tan Harangody...

Also, he's black.

- Courtesy of my racist cousin Adam, now 2 for 2.

(Editor's note/note that Adam's mom made me type: He's not really racist; he's seven. Also, this time I may have had some influence in the black Harangody. And by "had some influence," I mean that I told my cousin to draw the Irish guy black so as to continue the amusing trend of racial errors in his work. Thanks for contributing, Adam. You're awesome, and we look forward to your upcoming piece, "Asian Dan Gilbert," which will be featured on the blog in a few weeks.)

By Adam + Ryan.

Funny Plates: Buddhist Plates believe in Recycling

Our second "Funny Plate," the Buddist Recycler Plate.

It's funny because Buddhists believe in reincarnation. (I Wikipedia'ed that to make sure.)

By Ryan, for, again, CreativelyDisposingOfPlates.com. (Which isn't really a website.)

Tristan Thompson: He's nice!

Tristan Thompson is nice!
By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

Funny Plates: Mr. Ed Hardy

The first ever "Funny Plate," Mr. Ed Hardy:


I have a lot of plates.

By Ryan, for CreativelyDisposingOfPlates.com.

CFAAP: God Hates Cleveland...

God Hates Cleveland...

I think there's one thing you may need to know re: this cartoon, and it's that the following is the city of Cleveland seal:

We've made a huge mistake...

By Ryan, for Cavs: the Blog.

CFAAP: Daniel "Boobie" Gibson presents Daniel Gibson Boobies...

Daniel "Boobie" Gibson presents Daniel Gibson Boobies.


By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

CFAAP: Chris Grant Bookmark

Chris Grant Bookmark...

From Cavs: the Blog:

New DFTNOCG coming soon (as in hopefully later today)!

In the meantime though, here’s something to tide you over.

A free Chris Grant bookmark!

You just print it out, cut along the border, then…voila.

You have the Cavs’ GM on a bookmark.

Literally available nowhere else.

Probably for a reason.

-Ryan “CFAAP” Braun

By Ryan + Aron.

CFAAP: Antawn Jamison practices defense...

Antawn Jamison practices defense....

“I’m not sure if Antawn Jamison could successfully defend a woman’s right to vote.” –John Krolik

By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

CFAAP: Antawn Jamison dunks the ball in space!

Antawn Jamison dunks the ball in space!

From Cavs: the Blog:

I promise an extravaganza (and/or a normal cartoon) next week to make up for this.

A last minute scheduling conflict nearly derailed this week’s entry…but fear not. My always wanting to help out, super-awesome, 6-year-old cousin Adam has agreed to contribute this guest-submission of his favorite player Antawn Jamison to Drawings from the Notebook of Chris Grant.

Antawn Jamison looks pasty...

I count two major errors.

……………………….

Check out the picture blog at CFAAP.com. (Our membership has grown by 200% in the last week alone…which bolsters our ranks to a hefty seven. So basically, the glass is half-full, but it’s a two-inch glass.)

Also, the artist wishes you to know that the above was done with Crayola brand crayons on standard notebook paper. All rights reserved.

By Adam + Ryan.

CFAAP: NBA Lockout; Where Amazing Happened...

NBA Lockout: Where Amazing Happened...


By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

CFAAP: J.J. Hickson leaves Cleveland a donut...

J.J. Hickson leaves Cleveland a donut...

By Ryan and Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

CFAAP: NBA; Where Amazing Happened...

NBA: Where Amazing Happened...

The above is perhaps the most exact duplication of the NBA website (sans stars as accordant with new NBA rules) ever drawn completely by hand.

And this is the same thing, except closer.

Get the lockout over with, guys. It's hurting my cartooning.

By Ryan + Nico, for Bleacher Report.

Jonas Valanciunas: I hope you suck...

Jonas Valanciunas: I hope you suck...

A Haiku by Ryan Braun for the Cavs' almost-center.


By Ryan + Aron, for Cavs: the Blog.

Kyrie Irving: Grow Strong Like An Oak Tree...

From Cavs: the Blog:


Welcome to Cleveland, my friend. Welcome to Cleveland.

By Ryan + Aron.

CFAAP: Cavalier Thoughts on the NBA Draft, starting with the second pick...

I’m re-upping the Cavalier Thoughts of an Overreative Realist blog…because I’m admittedly about to go way overboard.

(The Cavs let Jonas slip away... I now hope he sucks.)

Thoughts on the NBA Draft, starting with the second pick.

What I think happened:

I think that Chris Grant wanted to add both Jonas and Tristan, and I think he picked the wrong one first. Toronto was universally considered a lock to pick a point guard by the high-profile NBA punditry…and I have no idea why. (Of greater concern is that Chris Grant may have been listening to them.) Toronto desperately needed a big, and they just hired the preeminent defensive assistant in the league to be their coach. Not every team can be counted on to make the shortsighted, asinine pick…and I suspect that’s what we were counting on. Either that or we got scared of Jonas’ buyout, which would be perhaps even more asinine. Why? Because we are not winning the championship next year! We are not winning it the year after! Lay the f’ing foundation!!!

We may have liked Tristan (I even like Tristan), but there’s no way we should’ve liked him more than Jonas. Because you can sign Tristans, you cannot (the Tyson Chandler-fleecing aside) sign Jonas-es.

Making the best of a bad situation:

If Tristan can move his feet and contest at the rim (he can), I’d like him to learn the intricacies of the league—more specifically, of pick and roll defense—from Andy. Thus, AV must stay another year for the development of our number 4 pick. Of course, many of us want him to stay anyway, but this new wrinkle makes it in my mind now essential. We drafted a guy to play defense, now let’s teach him how.

Offensively… Jesus, I don’t know. Tristan Thompson is minimally talented outside the lane, and doesn’t appear to be on the cusp of harnessing a shooting touch. I don’t mind having a defensive oriented four, but it means we’ll need to hit an interior threat in a subsequent draft and that isn’t going to be easy. (Note to Andre Drummond: College is overrated.)

Where we now are in the rebuilding process:

Absolutely step one.

I haven’t lost faith in the front office or anything...but I will say this: Today marked the first day that I’ve questioned ever questioned it. There are more incomprehensible decisions made in the NBA than in every other sports league combined (take, for instance, the Sacramento, Milwaukee, Charlotte trade—Good work guys. Now you’re set!), and I felt helpless today waiting for David Stern to announce that fourth pick. Helpless because as my excitement dissipated that Jonas didn’t go number three to Utah (something I was legitimately concerned about), I realized that I was anything but certain the Cavs wouldn’t look elsewhere as well.

I’ll go further with this: The Cavs shouldn’t have needed to think about Kyrie vs. Derrick either! The answer was obvious and the answer will become increasingly obvious every game they play after, say, the first 82. (I bet Derrick puts up numbers early, but ceases to develop starting early in his second year.) Maybe even earlier. There's no comparison to be made between the two.

Re: the current roster, I now think J.J. has to play out this year (and hopefully play it out well—as in 18 and 10)...and then he has to get moved. There’s not room for both Tristan and J.J. in the starting five, and thus, there’s not room for both of them.

(Let me parenthetically walk this back just a tad — I can imagine a situation where J.J. stays and provides his mercurial brand of scoring, and then Tristan settles into an early-Varejao-esque defensive role off the bench…and truthfully, my initial reaction aside, that would be great. It would be a luxury to have that type of athletic, aggressive, energy-off-the-bench 4, and it would be promising to have such a strong rotation of guys. But you can sign someone to do that! You pick the guys for such a rotation at approximately the point in the draft that gave us J.J.! The teens! The late-lottery! Not with the fourth pick in the draft. And so ends my retroactively positive statement.)

We may well struggle again next year, although I suspect with Andy back and Baron aboard for a full 82, we’ll need a bit more luck to end up in the top-tier of the lottery — and that's where we’ll need to be. We’ve added Kyrie Irving and a really nice energy player, now we need another elite guy. Harrison Barnes, Anthony Davis, Quincy Miller, Perry Jones, or Michael Gilchrist.

If we’re in the top-5, we’re alright. If we’re not, at least we have someone waiting overseas.

Sasha Kaun.

CFAAP: NBA Draft 2011-Cleveland Cavaliers select…

From Bleacher Report:

(Color)

The State of the Union is Strong. (At least until July.)

(B&W. I'm sure these were totally necessary)

By Ryan + Nico.

CFAAP: What Really Happened to the Heat in the NBA Finals...

What Really Happened to the Heat in the NBA Finals...

From Bleacher Report and Cavs: the Blog.

By Ryan + Nico.

CFAAP: Perspective - Starring Enes Kanter's Vertical Jump and Two Ants...

From Cavs: the Blog:

By Ryan + Nico.